*sigh* I'm struggling to find something good to say about this experience. It started off so promisingly. The bus driver stood up with a large photo of the Vancouver region taken from space so that we could find ourselves on it and look at the area. That's exactly the sort of thing I love - to mesh the 2D map with the 3D world I'm experiencing - so I had high hopes.

Check-in was reasonably quick and bus assignments had been posted in plenty of time so that part of the organization was good. We were given a hand-out at check-in which gave us lots of good information about the places we were going. It had updated information about each site and I was looking forward to an enjoyable day.

Alas, the tour degenerated from there.

I enjoyed meeting some fans and they were almost the only thing that salvaged this from my pile labeled, "absolute worst experience they could have devised." The woman sitting behind us, Anne, had a brilliant idea - she'd screencapped scenes from the episodes and printed out small, black and white images so that she could find the shots used.

As the bus rolled on, I got a tiny bit worried as it seemed the bus driver was going to narrate our trip rather than the "bus mom" and the guy hadn't even known which tour he was driving when he pulled up. Turned out that my worries were prescient.

Our first couple of stops were picturesque but were used to make an episode I found to be dull, dull, dull and not particularly visually striking in the sense that I could identify where scenes were while looking around. But I had known they wouldn't be the highlights for me and I'm sure other fans loved the episode.

I was gravely disappointed that "bus mom" was a euphemism for "keeper." Apparently, her only role was to tell us when to be back on the bus and issue empty threats to leave behind stragglers.

We were routinely hurried through what few stops we had with our time allowed to explore shortened each and every time. Stops were cut from the schedule. Our buses got lost - didn't the bus drivers have a highlighted route map or something??? - and I would prefer never again to ride on a bus that backs into a heavily-trafficked, light-controlled intersection, thank you very much. Our bus driver seemed to have a depth-perception problem such that he jolted us with sudden, extreme braking, released it, and then slowed more smoothly. I'm not especially prone to motion sickness but that got to me. We did many of our "stops" as drive-bys and by the afternoon, we weren't being warned before approaching many and quite a few we passed by without any comment at all.

I suppose had there been no commentary going on, it might have been slightly less frustrating but the bus driver was talking - incessantly - about geology. I'm a huge fan of geology and have taken classes just for fun. However...not only was that not the reason we were there, but he was spouting Geology 101 stuff. Over and over. And over.

I already aced those exams many years previously, thank you, and I've never had a high threshold for being lectured about things I know much less in the public school tradition of using repetition to drive home the lesson. It got worse - there were a couple of times where the other two buses emptied but we were held captive until the bus driver finished his mini-lecture.

So, after being hurried through our stops, passing by the locations without comment or warning, having sites removed from the list, and being jostled around it was sort of the ultimate insult to return to the hotel an entire hour early. But you know what? By then I was so sick of the whole experience that I just wanted off the damned bus so I was pleased as anything to cut it short. Had we been allowed off at any point that afternoon, I'd have called a cab and abandoned the tour. I was that disgusted.

There was one absolutely wonderful stop that I can say delivered the goods: Simon Fraser University, the setting for Tollana. We were on the bus, chattering away, when we rounded a bend and parts of the gorgeous university atop Burnaby Mountain became visible. Carrie, one of the fans seated near us, looked up and exclaimed, "We're at Tollana and I didn't even feel us going through the wormhole!" She had it nailed perfectly.

Walking into the university felt exactly like walking onto Tollana, despite the student tables for causes, announcement banners, people walking around in jeans, little kids running all over the place...none of that mattered because the architecture is so powerful. I wandered through, trying to picture where Jack and Daniel sat against the column, trying to puzzle out the truth of the Tollans' offer, where Omac's funeral was held, found the pond where Sam and Teal'c were discussing Narim...it was a blast! Lots of stairs - the students get a good workout - and the mountaintop views offered are spectacular. I cannot say enough good things about that stop -- and the tiny ziggurat hidden behind the hedges near the pool just clinched it as "destined to be a Stargate location" for me.

Kudos to everyone who worked so hard to get us permission to tour the academic quadrangle and my sincerest thanks to the university. I appreciate their granting us permission to enjoy their beautiful campus and it stands out in my mind as one of the clear highlights of my vacation.

We did a laughable drive-by Horizons, O'Malley's from the episode "Upgrades," and the bus mom woke up to let us know that they also filmed the scene where the team, minus Teal'c, shoot out of the Stargate to overpower Apophis' jaffa was filmed on the slope, as well. The only benefit I got from that "stop" was the determination that Joe and I would return when we'd rented our car and have our traditional vacation "nice dinner in a restaurant with a spectacular view" there.

Honestly, I've dredged up about all I can think of to say about the tour that is nice. I'll close with a couple of personal impressions and what I hope is constructive criticism that is helpful feedback for whomever is in charge of these things.

I was bitterly disappointed not to get out and see Daniel's house from "Chimera," get a cool picture of the Colquitlam firehouse from "Changeling," or to get to go what I'd thought would be the tour highlight, the old church used in "Red Sky." Those were all places I'd been very excited about visiting and to be forced to stay on the bus, barely getting enough warning to even see the firehouse for which we did not even stop, was beyond frustrating. I won't even get into the inanity of passing by - entirely without notice or comment - various locations, including where they filmed Janet's death.

As a consumer using my valuable vacation time and paying money, I want to know what I'm buying. If the tour bus isn't going to stop and let me off to take at least take a photo of something before I bundle right back on and continue on, then I want to know that ahead of time. That puts the onus on me to decide whether a "drive-by" tour is what I want. You set yourself up for angry customers the way it's done now. Honestly, our tour was pathetic and that's a shame; I understand that this was the first tour SFU agreed to let get out and visit. That should have been a coup rather than the only good thing. Planned stops for bathrooms and water would be much appreciated, as well.

The bus company needs to better prepare. They need to inform the drivers of the route and provide them with maps. Additionally, they must stress to drivers the reason for the particular tour. The bus moms need to be actively engaged in giving information to the group and run interference if the driver is not doing the expected job.